There will be many more 'almosts' yet to come in the future. But why does this one hurt more than the rest. I guess I let him in when I shouldn't have. I should've remained indifferent, distant and just stayed friends.
It's difficult to get it right, love is an elusive thing yet it is present in our everyday lives and in every little moment that passes us by. Maybe he seemed like the right fit for me but we met at the wrong time. I'll admit I was adrift for so long that it was really nice to have an anchor. He may have been the right person but I guess I'll never know. I call this an 'almost' because of the possibility that I saw and still see. However, he isn't ready and there's nothing I could do to help him get to where I want him to be. No one can make someone ready when they're not. It was naive of me to think that I would be enough to change a person. It was hopeful thinking that got me this far. Wishes and hopes all dashed because I am too weary and tired from fighting a battle I don't seem to be able to win. The odds aren't in my favour. I gave him everything I could give and as it still doesn't seem to work out, I guess it's time to let go.
This actually feels like a breakup although the relationship never even began. The healing process is the same. I will most definitely be fine given some time. Then I'll be able to genuinely smile at you again. For now everytime I look at you, I hear my heart shattering into a million pieces, and my eyes tear up. However, one day I will be able to look back to this day and fondly remember all the sweet memories you have given me without wanting to curl up into a ball and cry my heart out till I'm too exhausted to do anything but sleep. That day will come, when I'll be able to thank you for the lessons and memories. It is when that day arrives, I'll be able to be your friend again but give me some time and believe in who I am that I'll eventually be fine.
I've chased after you all this time hoping to catch up someday or that you'd wait for me to catch up. By letting go, I believe it'll allow us to be friends once more and if we're meant to be then fate will bring us together again some day.
I miss the sun
I miss the rain
I miss just hanging out with friends
I miss the silence
I miss the noise
I miss studying
I miss exercising
I miss having fun
I miss going out
I miss myself
When did I start being unable to withstand this loneliness.. When did this emptiness inside me grow to be so unbearable. But I know my time will come. Everything I do now will bring me on the path to meet you. All of this is for the future. There are so many things I miss but...
Dreams.... What do they actually mean? I meant those you have while you're asleep of course. Have you ever wondered? Those vivid scenes and pictures that go through our minds at night when we're asleep, have you ever looked deeper into them? After pondering all these thoughts for quite some time, I feel that my dreams represent my subconscious desires. Some desires so buried deep down in my heart that I didn't even realise they were there to begin with. Then again sometimes I feel it's just my heart being honest with myself when I'm not.
Haha! Confusing right? Well.. I find it really confusingl as well. Still when you're fast asleep its really amazing what your mind can come up with. There are so many different variations of dreams that you could have that night. Occasionally I get those dreamless sleep when I'm thoroughly exhausted. Apart from that I usually have very vivid and colourful dreams. Sometimes I find that the last thing I've read about would affect my dream that night as well. Most of the time it depends on my day and what mood I was in when I went to bed that night. At first I thought it was only coincidental that I so happen to have dreamt of a friend that I had just met up with earlier that day. Then, when I was mad and frustrated about something I could imagine the violence and cruelty which I would use to hit that person just to release my anger. I wasn't shocked at that point of time. More like oh wells it was just a dream right. Well most people say third times the charm right, and so there was thjs time when I took an afternoon nap and was dreaming of the story book that I had just finished reading before my nap. The story was regarding vampyres. I love to read fiction particularly fantasy and romance. Haha an extra tidbit about myself. I prefer not to share my dreams in detail but I could tell you this, one, I now believe that my dreams are another way my heart is telling me of my desires that I refuse to acknowledge and two, dreams are also some sort of gut instinct that is almost never wrong.
Though sometimes I have nonsensical dreams, but most of the time it can be relied on to point me or shove me in the right direction. Scary though how accurate my gut feelings are about certain individuals.
I guess this is it for now. Till the next time.. :)
Here's a photo of the wonderful green trees that are on bothe the right and left side of the road.
This is really long overdue... So I think I'll just keep this short and sweet and you guys can watch my travel vlog at the end of this post or just drop me any questions in the comment box below and I'll try to answer them as best I can! :)
First, the flight was rather comfortable. It was 8 hours on the plane and frankly I thought that 8 hours would be horrible but it turned out to be not too bad. Surprisingly, AirAsia was quite comfortable. The 8 hours flew by! Well, not that fast because I have trouble sleeping on the plane. hahaha Jaz and JY however, had no such problem. They only woke up for meal time! They had one meal, onboard but the portion was quite small and well, knowing me, 2 hours later I was starving again. Then, I spent the next 2 hours contemplating whether to order a cup noodles onboard or not. In the end, I didn't get any such thing. Instead I just waited, rather impatiently for the plane to land and then go out looking for some food.
Loved this shot of the blue sky!
By the time we touched down, I was dizzy with hunger and motion sickness as well, then it's not like everything is close by, we had to sit in the car for another 30 to 45 minutes before arriving at the apartment we rented. Then driver also another one, his driving didn't help anything at all! I felt even more sick on the way there. It was so tiring. Imagine the feeling of wanting to throw up but being unable to because... there's nothing to throw up!!! Finally we arrived, and the sea breeze and the night winds soothed my dizziness a little.
Sidetracking a little for now. We found this apartment through AirBnB, the apartment was lovely and had this beautiful view of the beach. Plus the location of the place is very central and just a few minutes walk away from Surfers' Paradise!
The kitchen area
The bathroom
The bedroom
The view from our balcony!
P.S I lost the photo of the balcony and the living room which had another sofa bed and a mattress.
Okay, back to the topic at hand, after we dumped our luggages in the lovely apartment and made sure everything was in order with the host, we went out to look for food. Our flight landed at night and so by the time we arrived and got settled in, it was 10 o'clock at night... and well the downside of Gold Coast is EVERYTHING CLOSES EARLY! LIKE 5 O'CLOCK IN THE EVENING! WAY TOO EARLY! The restaurants don't close as early, but by 9 o'clock at night it's all mostly closed save the pubs and bars, and FAST FOOD!! hahaha we had maccas, *that's what they call McDonald's over here in Aussie*, as our first meal there.
Night View as we were landing!
The next day was free and easy, we took our sweet time getting ready then we wandered around the area. The one thing about the three of us is, we tend to spend a couple of hours at least in the grocery store. That's because since we were staying at an Airbnb apartment, we were allowed to cook, so we decided to cook. Plus we bought loads. Thank goodness none of us has the appetite of a bird! Besides that we, also visited Skypoint Observation Deck. The view from the top was absolutely stunning!
Random shots taken of the city
Full English Breakfast
Sandwiches with a side of fries and salad
The beach
Left: Skypoint Observation Deck at night. Right: Skypoint Observation Deck in the day.
Skypoint Observation Deck from the beach
The view of Gold Coast city from Skypoint Observation Deck
Our home cooked dinner that evening
On the third day, we spent the entire day at Warner Bros. Movie World! Totally psyched and excited to visit! There were a bunch of scary-looking, thrilling rides that either gives you the chills or for people like Jaz, it gets your blood pumping! There were also a few shows to watch. All in all it was a fun and tiring day. Tiring because we went on some really scary rides that totally made my heart drop out and my scream lodged in my throat. The one I was really freaked about was the Asylum. That particular ride was so fast going through loop-de-loops, sheer drops, etc. The moment I got strapped in I totally regretted getting onto that ride.
The entrance to Warner Bros. Movie World!
Batman's Bat Mobile
Bat Bikes? *hahaha* they look really cool anyway
Left: The Asylum. Right: some other scary rides. *I think it's the free fall one and Superman*
The three of us, from left, Jzlyne, me, JY.
Night view of the city from the beach
Our dinner, featuring kangaroo steaks.
On the fourth day, we visited Sea World! This is an aquarium like no other, there are so many animals to be seen. I totally loved it there. We didn't get on any rides because it was chilly and the rides there all seem to involve getting wet. The shows were quite interesting though! I particularly loved the dolphin show!
The entrance of Sea World
Visited the penguins first!
Cable Car!
The View of Sea World from the cable car.
Ice Cream Break!
The view into the aquarium from the top!
Dolphin Show!
Sea Lion Show!
"Why hello there! Have you got any fish for me today?"
Our fifth day, we went on a day trip to Brisbane. Brisbane was just a couple of hours away. We arrived in the city mid-morning and took a bus to Mt. Cootha. The view from there was stunning and nothing short of amazing! The fresh air is also very refreshing and the ambience is lovely and soothing. The food there is also delicious. I really miss the place.
View from the top of Mt. Cootha
The cafe on Mt. Cootha
Train ride home, From left, JY, me, Jzlyne
Our sixth day was spent at Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary. I found it only partially interesting, I loved looking at the animals and feeding the kangaroos! They are such lovely animals and cute too! Besides that, I think I enjoyed their shows quite a bit but I find that I like Sea World more.
Sunrise
"Hello, welcome to Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary!"
"What'cha looking at?"
During the short train ride.
Blinky Bill's Show
Bird Show
An Aligator *I think*
A Wombat
Random Lizard that was following us around for a short while....
Sheep Shearing
Kangaroo feeding time!
I believe that is an emu
Not so friendly Kangaroos
We decided to meet up with a friend of mine that's studying abroad in Brisbane at University of Queensland (UQ). She brought us around UQ for a tour. The campus is huge and I could've totally gotten lost in there. However, the university itself is really beautiful! We decided to go to this Irish Pub we found for dinner. The food was amaze-balls. The ambience was also lovely. Totally loved it there!
I give you Brisbane! *I absolutely cannot remember which bridge is this*
University of Queensland!
View of the City of Brisbane from the Water Taxi
Dinner at Waxy's Irish Pub. Top: Fish & Chips Bottom: BBQ Pork Ribs
It has reached the end of our trip, we spent the last day chilling around Surfers Paradise and also met up with one of our A level friends. Then we did some shopping and sat there and just watched the sun go down then headed to the airport. I was sad to leave but it was lovely while it lasted.
Sunrise
Watching the night turn to day on the beach
The last morning here
Making footprints in the sand
The early bird catches the worm
I wish time would stop at this moment
Last bit of ice-cream before we head home
Goodbye Australia!! I'll be back to visit next time!
Now here's the video that would show highlights of our times there. :D
