Dreams..

Dreams.... What do they actually mean? I meant those you have while you're asleep of course. Have you ever wondered? Those vivid scenes and pictures that go through our minds at night when we're asleep, have you ever looked deeper into them? After pondering all these thoughts for quite some time, I feel that my dreams represent my subconscious desires. Some desires so buried deep down in my heart that I didn't even realise they were there to begin with. Then again sometimes I feel it's just my heart being honest with myself when I'm not.

Haha! Confusing right? Well.. I find it really confusingl as well. Still when you're fast asleep its really amazing what your mind can come up with. There are so many different variations of dreams that you could have that night. Occasionally I get those dreamless sleep when I'm thoroughly exhausted. Apart from that I usually have very vivid and colourful dreams. Sometimes I find that the last thing I've read about would affect my dream that night as well. Most of the time it depends on my day and what mood I was in when I went to bed that night. At first I thought it was only coincidental that I so happen to have dreamt of a friend that I had just met up with earlier that day. Then, when I was mad and frustrated about something I could imagine the violence and cruelty which I would use to hit that person just to release my anger. I wasn't shocked at that point of time. More like oh wells it was just a dream right. Well most people say third times the charm right, and so there was thjs time when I took an afternoon nap and was dreaming of the story book that I had just finished reading before my nap. The story was regarding vampyres. I love to read fiction particularly fantasy and romance. Haha an extra tidbit about myself. I prefer not to share my dreams in detail but I could tell you this, one, I now believe that my dreams are another way my heart is telling me of my desires that I refuse to acknowledge and two, dreams are also some sort of gut instinct that is almost never wrong. 

Though sometimes I have nonsensical dreams, but most of the time it can be relied on to point me or shove me in the right direction. Scary though how accurate my gut feelings are about certain individuals. 

I guess this is it for now. Till the next time.. :) 

Here's a photo of the wonderful green trees that are on bothe the right and left side of the road. 

-an exhausted kid- ^.^V

Goodbye 2016

To start off, I was supposed to get this done before 2016 was out but oh well.. Procrastination is at it's best. I decided an early night was what I needed. This gave me an early start on my day which is a good change, anyway I digress. 

I'd like to reminisce on how my 2016 came and went. 2016 went by particularly fast for me. It wasn't a breeze for me I had my fair share of ups and downs. I stumbled and fell and have the scars and bruises to prove it but at the end of the day, I'm really glad at how 2016 turned out for me. 

 

Birmingham '16

This was the year I finally got my degree. Believe me there were a lot of of hurdles to jump but I finally made it, I have now obtained my law degree. All those late nights paid off. Don't get me wrong, I still had my fair share or night outs and more... hahaha but yeah I'm finally here. After the whole excitement wore off, I settled down and thought of what to do next. 

Oxford Brookes University, Class of 2016

We did it!! 

Class of 2016

I also got to travel and see the world. I learnt to plan my own holidays. I'm still not very good at it as I like to only have a rough plan of what to do and not to have too many plans. So holidays with me can be somewhat of a really free and easy thing. I also love to really relax and let go during holidays so there will be somedays where I just love to wander around the city and see everything and almost nothing at all or I would just stay in and chill. However, I also have no objections to go about for the entire day. Well, let's just say I'm a very flexible person! 

          Glasgow '16                              Cheney Student Village 

Meeting up with some familiar faces :) 

One of the many night outs with my best mates 

                 

Barcelona '16                                             Paris '16

    

Summer Shenanigans *grins*

On a side note, during my time abroad, that was when I really learnt to stand on my own two feet. It wasn't easy and I had amazing friends, I know they have my back always, but I couldn't keep relying on them, I had to learn to stand on my own. I loved that the most actually. The freedom was exhilarating! *me coming from a more conservative family where there are rules in place all the time* To be fair, the rules are in place to keep me safe. I was intoxicated on the feeling of freedom and not having to answer to anyone but myself. I absolutely loved it, but with freedom came responsibility which wasn't as much fun. :( I learnt to cope, how to be alone, to be strong for myself and most of all to prioritise. No one individual sees things the same way through the same lens, even if we may end up at the same destination using the same methods, each individual would've perceived their journey differently. I will never understand your pain and joy, however I'd love to listen if you want to share or if you just need someone to listen to. I'm human too and so I'm also entitled to make mistakes, don't blame me if my reaction isn't what you're looking for or if I still cannot understand you the way you're looking to be understood. That's one of the most valuable lessons I've learnt and had to relearn. Everyone perceives and deals with each situation in a way that is uniquely their own. The bitter pill I had to swallow was somewhere along those lines, I had to accept that not everyone will treat me the way I have treated them and that some of them are only there for a short break and not the long run. The hurt was real but then, in hindsight, I am grateful to them. For the short time that they were part of my life, they had brightened it with their presence and for that I'm thankful. They have given me memories to treasure in their absence. 

       

  After exams mischief :P  

My confidants

Letting go is never easy but sometimes we have to. There is no sense in holding on to something or someone which is already gone. There will be many more times in the future that I'm sure I'll have to let go again. It won't be easy but I found that once you have accepted the fact, it is more or less easier to convince your heart that it is time to let go and move on. After all, you can't crouch there stagnant while time flows and life goes on. There is so much more out there to experience and see. This is but a small speck of my life. I won't say it gets easier with time or practice. It'll still be difficult and painful when it counts but I can promise you that the dull ache will fade with time and the emptiness, you will find more things or people to fill it up. It'll never feel the same but it can be held at bay until that time where someone or something happens that will just fill up that emptiness again. Until then we can just continue on living our lives as best as we know how to. 

An afternoon spent frolicking in the Bury Knowle Park

-Siew Hui