2018

It's been another rollercoaster ride in 2018. There were many unexpected moments, both joyous and heartbreaking.

I know I've neglected to write here, I shall endeavour to write more in 2019. That will be my New Year's Resolution for 2019. :D

Life... is very unexpected. Even the most well thought out plans can go awry. I guess at the end of the day it is God that plans and we just adapt and make the best of it.

To live is to expect the unexpected

Baby Steps

Why I say that is because I have always tried to make plans but as the years go by, I have sort of given up on detailed plans because a simple decision or mistake can cause those well-made plans to change. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. So now the only plans I make are those that are more like general guidelines. More like goals that I wish to achieve and the plan to get there is through 'Improvisation' along the way. To me it is more of the journey than the destination. I like to stop and enjoy the scenery. In my opinion, life is made up of the little little moments that may seem insignificant at the time. The moments that brings us happiness, the hardships we face, the disappointments, those are all little moments that made us who we are today. Those are the memories that I would carry with me till the day I leave this world, that will be what I would reminisce and laugh about when I'm old and grey. I want to make the most of the time so that one day I can look back and smile fondly at the adventures that the younger me went through. I want to have stories to tell one day, I want to be able to say that I have lived. I want to be content with the life I have lived, of course there will be mistakes and regrets along the way but I want to write my own story.



It may seem as if I'm living in the clouds and dreaming, but this is the one thing I've been sure of since I was a child. I've never been one to be ambitious or a workaholic (I detest the idea of work) but I crave the balance. I am one person that needs both work and play. I cannot have one without the other...

help?

2018 has been another great year, filled with ups and downs (and mostly loads of stupid mistakes and silly moments), of second chances that in hindsight I shouldn't have given and of trying to find myself. Self discovery and a little self destruction as well, but then again I enjoyed most of it! (even the mistakes) hahaha I've received my fair share of gifts and troubles. I discovered that work is not easy, working with a difficult boss is even more challenging! I got through it and it was an eye opener... However, I've learnt that no matter how difficult the hardship, it will end and God never puts a wall that I couldn't climb over in front of me. It may take some time (some longer and some shorter) but He always leaves me with a solution, or a lesson that I need to learn. I've strayed from Him for a long time now and I think it's finally time for me to reconnect with Him. I'm still struggling to accept Him again but it gets easier along the way.

It's Official! 

IKEA date

He placed a really wonderful person in my life when I least expected it. I will be eternally grateful because this special person has helped me believe once again in love (if you didn't know I am a hopeless romantic) and he has taught me that to love a person it doesn't mean sacrificing everything. You are still you and it's okay. Loving someone doesn't mean losing yourself. I finally know and understand the phrase "Loving another is to accept him, flaws and all", that love is unconditional. It happened really fast for the both of us. I've never fallen for another so completely and quickly that it still feels surreal to me. I still feel like I'm living a dream and I may wake at any moment to realise it was all a dream. Only to wake up the next day and have him reaffirm his feelings for me through words and actions. I honestly feel like the luckiest person to have him by my side. I thank God everyday for putting this person in my life. I am still learning everyday, and I believe that He has guided me to this person. I still get really surprised by all the little things that he does for me. He's a blessing that God has given me and I will cherish and treasure him always.

Have Faith

On a different note, I have made the decision to give CLP another shot. I have failed the first time I took it and I was really down. That was the first time I had failed at something huge. My first stumble and me being me.. I crouched there and refused to stand up. I basically ran from it. I considered everything, From a career without my license to a complete change in career. I actually thought of being a copywriter for an insane moment. I knew that CLP would be tough but then I didn't expect it to be this difficult. I... still want to continue writing in my free time, it is still something that I really enjoy and love. Writing helps me put my thoughts in order and sort out the knots that may have formed along the way. It is a way where I can put my thoughts into words and rearrange them till I'm satisfied. It's time to get up and try once more. I've wallowed in self pity long enough. It's time to get up and welcome 2019 with open arms and face the challenges that it brings.